I don’t want to.

The other night I had a wonderFULL conversation with my friend Dot.   In talking about this year, she told me that this year she is claiming the right to say, “I don’t want to.”

wOw.

I’m in awe.

Is this complete sentence as difficult for you to say as it is me?

When I’m really thinking “I don’t want to.” what I’ll often say instead is something like:

“I wish I could.”

or

“I’m going to be washing my socks then.”

or

“I’m sorry, I can’t because…”

or (worst of all)

“Absolutely – I’d love to.”

UGH.

Why is it that those of us older than seven so often lie – to ourselves or others instead of simply saying what’s true?   The next time I REALLY don’t want to – I’m following The Dot.

Any advice?

8 thoughts on “I don’t want to.

  1. Ahhh….more wisdom from our friend, Dot. Always good stuff coming from over her way. If anyone has the right to say, “I don’t want to”, it’s Dot, given all the great things she and her husband have done for their community over the years.

  2. I am so going to try this- No excuses just an honest I don’t want to. I’ll have to start small and safe but I’m sure willing to try it.

  3. Huh! You know it never fails to amaze me how God ALWAYS!!!! puts what I need right in front of me, and most often it comes from you Lisa! You are such a Blessing to me,

    I have a great deal of trouble saying no to the people I love the most, don’t we all? I have had an issue with one of my Grandchildren over a rather large sum of money and decided to say no, seems that she now “hates me” no big surprise actually with the history here, but it was a hard decision, saying “I can’t send you the money” and it does hurt to realize or at least feel like the only reason this child (18, married and has a baby) loves me is for what I can give her. However, saying no was freeing for me, not giving excuses was empowering. Guess you could say I have had an awakening! Thank you again, Lisa, for telling me what I need to hear! Love you!

  4. PP, thanks… exactly! no excuses needed.

    AMEN, Tom!

    Ginger, me too woman, me too.

    Becky, i’m so glad this reminder helped you as much as it helped me.

    thanks to you all for replying.

  5. I started using “I’d rather not” a year or so ago. I now have other women in training. Some have successfully graduated and are now training others. Dot provides another step in my training career.

  6. I am one of Susan’s “trainees”. I can’t tell you how empowering it is when I succesfully but elegantly decline 🙂 “I’d rather not” is the perfect way to say no!

  7. Susan, what a wonderful way to shift the world: change yourself THEN help others change theirs. LOVE IT!

    Misty, YES! it feels great doesn’t it?

    deep and humble bows of THANKS to you both for sharing your lessons here.

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