“my life was changed for the better by…” July guest blogger #1

I’m humbled and honored by those of you who have responded to my invitation for guest bloggers this month.    If you haven’t yet RSVPed to this fun invitation, not to fret ~ it’s not too late.  Just e.mail me to let me know you’re interested.   

Our first guest blogger is Deb Horton.   

How weird is this?  My life changed for the better when my husband of 33 years hit me in the face.  Not to belabor the details, but for years he’d falsely accused me of infidelity.  Trying to constantly reassure him of the truth, when in his delusions, he believed differently made me exhausted.  Second guessing his reactions and trying to avoid his lengthy silent treatments left me a shell of a person.  The years of emotional abuse were bad, but when he hit me, and I knew it would only get worse as time went on,  I left him.

My life almost immediately improved.  I was able to breathe.  I slept better.  I began to taste food.  My heart stopped racing.  Better still, I began to think about what I wanted my life to be for myself.  I no longer had to deny the basic parts of my essential self, which were  practicing my spirituality and faith, spending time with my family and friends, and even acting on my generosity of spirit.

Now, I am discovering myself.  I am surrounded by the love, support, and protection of my family and friends.  I developing my relationship with God, and I found that He does answer prayers!  Amazing!  I am exploring areas of creative expression that take me out of my home to mingle with people.  I have signed up for art classes, writers’ workshops, and Bible study.  I volunteer.

This is what I have discovered about myself:

I like me.

I respect me.

I trust me

My life it isn’t a daily “walk in the park,” yet.  But I have never doubted my decision to leave, nor have I regretted being on my own after half a lifetime of marriage.  I don’t even regret trying so hard for so many years to make my marriage work.  The struggles and tears I work through now are for my greater good, not of despair and frustration and helplessness.  I am surfacing on the brighter side now, and my life is better because my husband hit me in the face.

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6 thoughts on ““my life was changed for the better by…” July guest blogger #1

  1. Bravo! I may not know you personally, but I am sooo proud of you! You are strong & I predict you will get stronger. May God use your story to help others that are trapped in similar situations. Blessings for an amazing, wide open future!

  2. Wow!
    I believe it’s God’s grace that guides us through the hard stuff. I admire your willingness to notice the gift of that grace in your life. Thank you. Blessings on your new life.

  3. Deb- Leaving a marriage is difficult, but sometimes necessary for our own good. I left a 22 year marriage after my husband made it clear his emotional affair with another woman was more important to him than me. Like you, I am in a better place having made the decision to end an unhealthy relationship.

    I really like what Marianne Williamson and Sarah Ban Breathnach share on relationships; you share similar insights. Every relationship has a lesson or lessons to teach us and sometimes, when those lessons are learned , it is time to end the relationship. It doesn’t always mean the relationship was bad, it’s just over.

    I’m happy for you that you were able to learn the lessons shared with you and take your self to the next level. Learning to like and love yourself is HUGE!

    Hugs, Judi

  4. So good to see the very happy ending to your story, Deb. You have incredible courage….and obviously great spiritual strength. Sometimes you just have to jump out of the plane and trust your parachute. Wonderful to see you found yours. Thanks for sharing your great landing.

  5. Deb, I am so happy to be able to call my sister and not fear there will be a reprecussion that you may suffer. I am so proud of your strength and drive. You have so many gifts to give in this world and it is truely a blessing that what you endured has left many for the better. You are an inspiration. I wish I could hug you for it daily.

  6. Deb, as is obvious from these replies (and the people who didn’t reply ‘out loud’)~ your willingness to take care of you and stretch and grown and share your story was SO healing – for many. deep and humble bows of thanks Thanks THANKS.

    and LOUD cheers!

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